Our Journey with Conjoined Twins
Abby & Erin
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
Romans 8:28
I can't tell you how many times I have sat down to write a new post and never seem to finish it. Well today I am determined. Abby and Erin are doing wonderfully. They have begun getting their expanders filled to stretch their skin, and let me tell you they are amazing. They cry for the first second or two of the needle going in, but aren't quite phased by the actual skin expansion. I know that this is still the very bringing and that it will most likely get harder. But for now I am beyond thrilled at how well they handle it. The girls unfortunately had to have another surgery about 2 weeks ago since one of the ports from the expanders had moved and wasn't able to be accessed. So they went in and put it back where it was supposed to be. Because of this the girls have only been able to have 2 of the 4 balloons filled until today where all 4 were expanded. It was unfortunate but we made it through and are back on track. We now have dates for the next surgeries. There will most likely be 2 between now and the separation. We will have one surgery in the end of may to do some separation work, and then a few weeks later in June will be the actual separation. I am reluctant to release any dates yet since things change so easily around here. We have hope that these days seem to stick, but there is always that possibility. The girls are growing in leaps and bounds. They never cease to amaze their daddy and I. Developmentally they are right on target. They are babbling, playing with toys, engaging while books are being read, they are trying to mimic words, they are taking baby food, and Erin is able to roll, but Abby is just not feeling it yet (its a little chaotic when Erin attempts lol. I am so incredibly proud of them and how far they have come. All of the doctors, surgeons, and nurses are very happy with where the girls are right now. The thought of surgery coming up is getting more and more real everyday. It is honestly becoming scarier and scarier. I try so hard to not let all the possibilities of what could happen creep into my brain. But they are there and they are so so real. The girls share a portion of their saggital sinus, which is a very large vein in your brain that drains blood down to your heart. And we have known from the beginning that this is a pretty big deal. Of course they won't know for sure exactly how it is connected and exactly how much until they get in there. The girls past surgeries have been more "superficial", but this next one will be much more significant. Yes, the girls have had many many scans done to see what is going on in there, but there is only so much you can see and how accurate they are. Yes, the girls aren't as connected as they could be, but it still scares me to death knowing that really anything could happen. We could go home with two completely happy healthy girls, we could go home with two happy girls have that have different limitations, we could go home with only one little girl, or possibly loose them both. The thought of loosing the girls is one that literally makes me feel like I am going to puke. But it is something I am working through. I know I have said it time and time again on here, but God has a plan and a purpose for these little girls. He knows every breath that they will take, even if that means only a few months more. I have to rest in the fact that he has already decided what their outcome will be, and Riley and I are just along for the ride. You don't realize how real your faith gets until something big like this happens. I have always been the good girl. I grew up in church, never really got in trouble, and tried to do everything right. Like I said I grew up in church, and even went to bible school, but it really wasn't until recently that I realized how little I actually relied on God. From this whole experience God has shown himself in more ways than I can even go into. He has proven his love for me and my family time and time again. And some of you would say "how can she say that, she still has conjoined twins" and to that I would say yes, I do have conjoined twins. But these girls have done so much for mine and my husbands lives. We get a front row seat to a miracle. We get to watch God work in a very real way every single day. And not only with the girls but with our regular lives as well. I am not going to lie, bills will be the death of me. This has been the most trying time of my life in that aspect. Yes, Riley is home working, but we were never expecting to have to go to just one income. And when we did it was and still is very very hard. And like I said before God has made himself very real and proven himself time and time again through this journey and especially with our finances. Right now Riley is living with my family back in North Carolina because we just could not afford rent anymore. We were just making it paying all the different bills. And by just making it I mean there was some type of financial miracle that happened every month to keep us afloat, whether that be someone sending us a check, a fundraiser being held, a foundation choosing to help us, that is how we have been getting by. I have gotten to the point where I am not worrying anymore because somehow God always provides. He sends someone in just the right moment to help us out. It is really one of the most amazing things I have seen. But that doesn't mean it is still hard, and it doesn't mean that I don't stress at least once or twice a month wondering how we are going to make it. Especially when I want more than anything for Riley to be here with us. But when he is that means that we are going to take a hit financially because he isn't working. If there is anything that I am upset about in this whole journey it would be just that. It literally hurts me to know that Riley can't be here. I do my very best to share the joy of the girls with him, but there is only so much I can video tape and send to him. Smiles, giggles, little coos they are all so hard to catch on video. I wasn't able to get their first smile, the first time they grabbed a toy intentionally. The little things hurt my heart because I so badly want to share them with him. I seriously hate money. If it were a person I would really have to check myself because I would be bitter at it. I hate the fact the money is what keeps my husband from his family. But we don't have a choice in the matter, and it is so so hard. Living far away from your significant other is NEVER something I wanted to do. Riley always talked about how he would have loved to go into the service, and I always said no. I never thought I would be able to handle being without the person I love. But here I am. It has been a month since I last saw my husband (other than facetime) and I hate it. With every fiber of my being. I know with all my heart that God has a plan, and I trust him, I really do, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt in the process. I miss him more than I ever thought I could miss another person. He is such a wonderful husband and daddy, it just seems not fair that he has to be there and us here. Thank you all again so much for all of the support and love we receive. I cannot wait till the day when we are able to do the same thing for another family. It makes my heart so excited to think that we will be able to bless another family like ya'll have blessed us. Time for baths for the girls :)
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Many times throughout this journey of finding out I was going to be the mother of conjoined twins I have developed expectations of how I thought things would go. How CHOP would be, how my delivery would go, how the doctors would be, how surgeries would go, and so many others. I have thought about so many things when it comes to the girls. And usually my expectations are different than the reality of it all. And I feel like that happens with most things in life. We anticipate something going a certain way and then it actually happens, and it ends up completely different than you expected.
One thing that I had thought about and read about and prayed about was dealing with how other people view my children. Obviously I'm very open about the girls. In no way do I want to "exploit" them, but if some way we can reach out to another family dealing with a similar situation and give them hope or encouragement that would be our goal. So I am very willing to answer questions, openly talk about the girls, and even share pictures. To me our girls are absolutely perfect and created to be who they are. God had a plan when he decided that Abby and Erin were going to be craniopagus twins. I view the girls are separate individuals with different personalities, different likes/dislikes, and even different skills. There are even times when one of them is being fussy that I have to remind myself that I can't just pick her up like my instinct tells me to. And there have been times I have even reached for one of them and then stopped myself. That is how separate I view them already. To me they are just two little babies who need their mama. So recently since being moved to a different floor we have been able to take the girls on walks, which we weren't allowed to do down in the NICU. On Friday and Saturday we were able to take them to one of the hospitals outdoor areas so that they could feel the warmth of the sun for the very first time. It was glorious. Watching their little faces squint as the sun shone on their little faces was a moment frozen in time. One that I want to remember forever. The wind would blow and they would gasp and then smile. It was one of my favorite moments with them so far. The feeling of being able to take the girls out with me is such a great one. Over the weekend we took them on little walks every day. On Sunday we went to a place in the hospital where there is a big "sculpture". I say that with quotes because it is more of a "contraption" that has balls traveling through it on little roller coaster like structures that ring bells, and bounce off of things. It is really a neat thing to sit and watch. Needless to say I knew the girls would love it. What I didn't really think about was going into such a public area. Yes, we had been outside, but that was traveling through hallways and out to a patio that not many people visit in the end of February. Where this sculpture is, is definitely more of a public space. Now like I said I am very open about my girls. And I prepared myself for how people would react. But at one point I looked up from watching the pure joy on the girls faces to see people staring. Granted I have known people would stare from the beginning, but it has never really happened before since we were always "hidden". And since the girls are so normal to me I didn't think twice about it. I thought "this thing is really cool and the girls would enjoy it so lets bring them to it". I didn't think "oh man people are going to be walking down there and they are going to stop and stare at us". Not only did people stare but we also had a complete random stranger come right up to us and exclaim "wow, can I look" . I was so taken aback by this. The lack of manners. I didn't even know how to respond. I've never been one to draw attention to myself. I would much rather stand in the background and help someone else stand in the spot light. So I have been learning slowly to come out of my shell and have a "thicker skin". Working with camera crews who are putting footage together for the girls story (that will be released after everything is said and done) has grown me in ways I could have never imagined. If you had told me even a year ago that I would be getting used to doing interviews on camera I would have said NO WAY. I've just never been that person. I've always been very cautious about how I am perceived and like I said would much rather stay out of the lime light. So to be in a public place and have people staring was so uncomfortable. I want the girls to be able to get out of their room and experience life. It is not fair that because they are different and it makes me uncomfortable that they should be able to go see the cool ball contraption. It is just another one of my expectation vs. reality battles. People will be people. I just need to try and be the best mom that I can be for these little girls. If I want to raise them to be confident and proud of who they are, I need to be just that. I need to be confident and proud that I am who I am and that I have these two wonderful little girls that I get to watch grow and experience life. People will stare, but we won't let that stop us. We are going to enjoy every moment we have and be confident in doing so. And if someone oversteps their bounds, they better watch out because this mama will very quickly turn into a mama bear who will protect her cubs. Pray for us as we navigate this new territory. We are also still getting used to a new team which has it's stressful moments. We are so grateful that God has brought us this far, and I know He will keep walking right beside us as we keep moving forward. Thank you all for lifting us up in prayer and encouraging us through this. If it weren't for all the support and love our family receives I don't know if we would have the confidence to take the girls out of their room. Your prayers and well wishes are felt very deeply. We love you all!! This has been a big month for the Delaney Family. We have had quite a few new things going on.
Patience......patience is my downfall at the moment.
The girls turned 6 months old on Tuesday! These little girls inspire Riley and I every single day. They are the ones that give us hope. Every time they smile and you can see the wonder that they are filled with you just know that they have that fight in them. These past six months have been the absolute hardest that I have ever imagined, but they have also been some of the very best. I have learned so much not only about being a mom, but about myself and who I am as a woman and a wife. I've learned to speak up and be an advocate for the girls. I have learned to be "ok" with living in this exact moment and not thinking about tomorrow. I've learned to completely trust God with the lives of our children (and am still learning). I've learned that just when I think we aren't going to make it, God does something and makes everything better. I've grown in ways I can't even comprehend. But I know in these past 6 months I have changed, and I am so grateful that God chose me to be these little girls' mommy. We had a meeting last week about the new plans for the girls. We has been doing some new processes to make the actual separation of the girls easier. And in the past few weeks we have kind of hit a brick wall and knew it was time to change. So after a battle with RSV, we are now scheduled for an MRI sometime next week, and then hopefully another small surgery in February. This surgery will be to put internal skin expanders in. This is something I have been dreading. I know that it is the last leg before separation, but I also know it is another mountain to climb. I'm worried about the pain, worried about how fragile the skin on their scalps are, I worried about infection, and I'm worried about loosing any progress that we have made. The MRI that we have coming up is big one. We are nervous to find out if the things we have been doing have worked. If they have it makes the girls actual separation SOOO much safer. We are praying with everything that we have that things have worked and that we will have a less chance of loosing one of the girls. It is a terrifying thought that one may have a harder time once they are separated and we are praying and praying and know that God already knows what is going to happen. If everything goes swimmingly we are looking at the girls having their separation sometime around May. We have been told many dates but I think this one is going to stick. Please pray for our family. Every day that we are separated from each other is really hard, and seems to be getting harder. As of right now we don't even know when Riley is going to be able to visit next and he hasn't been here in a month. He is in the process of figuring out some new work ideas and is just not sure when he will be able to make it here. It is also really hard for him to take any time off because we need every penny. It's been stressful and very hard since we can't be together to work out all these things. So please pray for that as well, pray that Riley will find the right position for him, one that will allow him to be able to visit more but also still make enough money to pay the bills. I also want to thank everyone. So many people have gone above and beyond. Between cards of encouragement, gofundme donations, gift cards, care packages, church groups getting things together, and so many words of encouragements through comments and emails we are so so so grateful. It brings me to tears how many people are rooting for our girls and our family through this time. I would have never imagined in a million years that I would be living at a Ronald McDonald House, 500 miles away from my husband so that I could care for my conjoined twins for a year. I seriously could never have imagined it. And all of those who have read my blog and done these wonderful things have made this experience something that I will look back on fondly, being able to remember how wonderful everyone was. I can't wait till one day years from now when we are able to help another family going through times like these. We are truly blessed and so grateful! So here is to another 6 months or so! Go baby girls Go! Everyone looks at things in different ways. Someone sees the glass half full, the other sees it half empty. Something you look at may seem beautiful to you, but be ugly to me. Perspective is a funny thing. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Being in this type of situtaiton seems to like to change your perspective on things. My husband tells me all the time that his view on life is completley different since we found out about our girls. These things can make your perspective do a complete 180. One day life is great, and then the next day life is miserable. But he has always said that they have changed his perspective to be a better one. To always see the glass half full. To see the good, and the reasoning behind things. I admire him for that.
Recently we were told some news about the girls that was not the most wonderful news we could receive. Because of the way things have been moving we are most likely going to switch directions. Not saying whats been going on hasn't done what it's supposed to, but it hasn't done everything we were hoping. Because of that we will most likely be here longer than we were anticipating. And I am not going to lie, that pretty much cut right through me. I am not one to cry in the NICU. I always try to be as strong as I can when it comes to this because I know if I crumble, I might not be able to pick myself back up. But this news made me cry. To hear that what I thought was going to be happening in a month or two, now isn't going to happen for more like 4 months just frustrated me. Thats more months of watching my girls fight, more months of being away from my husband, and more months of the "unknown". I was frustrated, upset, defeated, and sad. I felt like nothing would be able to make me see that any differently. Then the next day I saw another mom who has been here at the ronald mcdonald house for the past three months. Her son was in the hospital. When I saw her I asked how she and her son was doing. Little did I know, but he had passed away the morning before. I could see and feel her pain. But what she told me will ring in my ears forever and completley changed my perspective. She said "hug those babies, because you have them now, enjoy every second you have with them". In that second my perspective went from "why me, why us?" to thank you God for bringing us this far, even if it is going to take longer. I realized how grateful I am for my little girls. Yes, being here is hard, yes seeing so many people have beautiful perfect babies hurts, yes hearing people complain about stupid little things annoys me to death, but I am so so so grateful for our girls, and the outlook they have given my husband and I. They have showed us so much and continue to do so every single day. I decided in that moment, when that mom told me through tears to enjoy my babies, that I will. As much as it may hurt, as much as I may be frustrated, as much as I may ask why, I will enjoy them. I will thank God every day that I have them because they are such gifts, and such miracles. Please say a prayer for that family, I cannot imagine the feeling of loosing a child that you have watched fight so hard. She is the kind of mom I want to be. One that stands by her child, and even after she lost him, was able to speak into my life through her pain. If you ever read this please know how grateful I am for your words yesterday!! Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. James 1:2-4 I saw a quote on Facebook recently that talked about David, and how the giant was put in davids way to get him to the throne. It then went on to say that the giants in our lives are there not to defeat us, but to promote us. And it was such an encouragement because lately I feel like we have been up against a giant that is trying over and over to destroy us, and we are becoming weary.
We know that all things work together for good to those who love God… --Romans 8:28
It is only a faithful person who truly believes that God sovereignly controls his circumstances. We take our circumstances for granted, saying God is in control, but not really believing it. We act as if the things that happen were completely controlled by people. To be faithful in every circumstance means that we have only one loyalty, or object of our faith— the Lord Jesus Christ. God may cause our circumstances to suddenly fall apart, which may bring the realization of our unfaithfulness to Him for not recognizing that He had ordained the situation. We never saw what He was trying to accomplish, and that exact event will never be repeated in our life. This is where the test of our faithfulness comes. If we will just learn to worship God even during the difficult circumstances, He will change them for the better very quickly if He so chooses. -Oswald Chambers "my utmost for his highest" Riley and I have been going through it recently. Life just keeps dealing us crappy hands and it has been incredibly overwhelming. Realizing how behind we have become on some bills and how we are both having a harder and harder time dealing with things is just difficult. Our lives are all about the girls, and we are neglecting things (not purposefully) that can't be neglected. And so tonight, as I was basically falling apart because of the stress, Riley pulled out My Utmost For His Highest, and faithfulness was the topic of the devotion. And to say I teared up would be an understatement. It was like a huge light bulb turned on and God went "Hello Heather, I'm still here!" For those of you who don't know me, I've grown up in church and went to Valley Forge Christian College and received my degree in Youth ministry. I don't consider myself "religious", but rather consider myself to have a personal relationship with Jesus. He knows everything about me, my strengths, weaknesses, likes, dislikes, the desires of my heart, and every hair on my head (or on the floor for that matter, post pardum hair loss is CRAZY, sorry rabbit trail). And every once in a while he needs to basically hit me over the head to make me realize I have forgotten to trust him. There have been many moments along this journey with our girls that Riley and I have sat and said to each other we don't know how we are going to make it through, and then before we know it God proves himself to us over and over agian. Showing us how much He cares for us and sees our struggles. So here we are again in that position thinking how are we going to get through this and where do we go from here. But then we read a devotion and I remember He has taken care of us several times before, what makes this time any different. Just because it isn't easy doesn't mean He isn't taking care of us. Matthew 6:24-26 says “No one can serve two masters. For you will hate one and love the other; you will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and be enslaved to money. “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Oh how I need to take that one to heart. God is in control. He has this all figured out. He knows how things are going to go with Abby and Erin. He knows how hard it is for Riley and I to be apart. He knows we can't afford rent and car payments. He knows, and He will provide because he loves us. He promied he would never leave nor forsake. And when He makes a promise He keeps it. Through the amazing lyrics of Steven Curtis Chapman, Jesus says.... I watch you looking out across the raging water So sure your only hope lies on the other side You hear the enemy that's closing in around you And I know that you don't have the strength to fight But do you have the faith to stand And believe me now, believe me here Remember all the times I've told you loud and clear I am with you and I am for you So believe me now, believe me now I am the one who waved my hand and split the ocean I am the one who spoke the words and raised the dead I've loved you long before I set the world in motion I know all the fears you're feeling now But do you remember who I am? I am the God who never wastes a single hurt that you endure My words are true and all my promises are sure So believe me now Be encouraged as I write to encourage myself. Thank you all for reading my thoughts and emotions. This blog has helped me in so many ways and your encouraging comments blow me away more often than not. RIley and I are very blessed to have each one of you following our families journey. When you hope, be joyful. When you suffer, be patient. When you pray, be faithful.
Romans 12:12 (NIRV) Patience is a funny thing. I feel like I catch myself praying "Lord give me patience" but then I realize that in order to have patience, I need to be put into situations that I need to be patient. And let me tell you I have never gone into a season of life where I had to be more patient than I am now. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Life is just seeming to pass me by. Days turn into weeks before my very eyes. The girls are overall doing very well. A few weeks back we needed to "re-evaluate" the course the girls were on and come up with a slightly different game plan. And since then things have been good. The process they are going through is working, it is just taking a lot of time. It is a very slow day by day process. People keep asking me "when is their surgery going to be?", "Have they given you any type of timeline?" and I just have to keep telling everyone we don't have a timeline or anything right now. We are just patiently watching the girls do what they do throughout this process. And the girls absolutely HATE it. Some days are better than others. But majority of the days are emotionally exhausting for me. I try so hard to keep it together around them. I don't want them to sense me breaking because they need all the strength they can get. But it is getting tiring. It has been about three weeks of this new process and I'm already wearing thin. But I know we need to get through this to move forward. I just keep counting the days till Riley will be here again, and remind myself that the next step after this is separation. It is so close yet so far. I lay in bed at night thinking about what it is going to be like when they are separate and I feel like we are just never going to get there. I know we will, it is just that feeling that it is never going to happen. It's where this whole patience thing come back into the picture. Being patient while your children are in pain is one of the very hardest things I think a parent can endure. It is a funny thing being here because even though my emotions are running thin, I gain so much admiration for these little girls. I am so humbled to be their mom. Watching them grow and endure all that they are going through is miraculous. I get to watch a real live miracle happening everyday and it is sometimes more than I can handle and it just makes me weep. I am so incredibly proud of them. They have overcome so much hardship in their lives so far, I just don't know how they do it. God must have a seriously amazing plan for them. I want to give a quick shout out to the staff at CHOP. We have the greatest team I could have ever imagined. Our surgeons have the most inovative and smart minds that I have ever had the chance of meeting. Our nurses/nurse practitioners are the most kind and caring people you could ever imagine. I watch them day in and day out love on our girls and it brings me to tears thinking about it. They will sing to them, rock them in their wagon, play with them, pat them, comfort them, and do everything in their power to make the girls day everything is should be. All of the girls different therapists, occupational, physical, music, and speech, are all so wonderful. They have the girls best interests at heart and are always so encouraging. They are some of the girls biggest cheer leaders. Watching the girls smile at all these wonderful people makes my heart swell. To see the girls knowing how many people are caring for them and are cheering them on gives me so much hope. If I was to be anywhere for an extended period of time it would be here. Thank you so much to those of you who have sent us cards and gifts. I wish I could personally thank each and every one of you. There are just so many. It is those little things sometimes that help me get through the day. There are days when I get back to the Ronald McDonald House and am feeling defeated and very worn, and then I will check my mailbox and I will have a letter, or a package waiting for me. I can't wait to tell the girls all about these things when they are older and can understand how many people were praying for them, and encouarging their parents. Without all of the support I don't know if Riley and I would be able to hang in there. This journey is so trying, but also so rewarding. We really pray that each one of you are blessed 10xs over what you have blessed us with. Riley, myself, and the girls, want to wish each and every one of you a Blessed and Wonderful Christmas and a very happy New Year. So, it's 2am and here I sit pumping away because I can't sleep, and if I can't sleep I might as well pump. Sorry if that's too much information but I am just being real. Nights like this make me realize what a toll this whole journey is taking on me.
I am completely and 100% exhausted and yet I can't sleep. It's been like this for probably about a week now. Part of it I'm sure is because Riley had to go back home last weekend, and I am in that horrible transition of getting used to not having him next to me as I fall asleep. But the other part I know is stress and just being anxious. Growing up I always heard the verse Philippians 4:6-7 which says "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I feel like I have always known this verse, it is one that I can recite off the top of my head and will be forever remembered. But as I sit here tonight I realize how incredibly hard it is to actually follow what this verse says. Just the first few words, Do not be anxious about anything..I kind of feel like yelling...."Yea right, you expect me to not be anxious about anything when I have conjoined twins, children who are so different than the rest of the world and could potentially have problems for the rest of their lives! HA" It is so so hard to remind myself that God is in control and always has been and always will be. Even when it is 2am and I sit here in the dark alone typing out all my feelings in a blog. He will give me peace that passes all understanding, and he does every day. It is in these times where I feel doubt creep in that the peace He gives me seems to fade, and I just need to remind myself that He has bigger and better plans than I can ever imagine. He really does. So many times people will comment, or text, or tell me that I am so brave and have such grace going through all this. And I so appreciate it, but that is not because of me by any means. Nights like these remind me how fragile I am and how weak. And that is only by God's strength that I get up the next day and move forward. He has given my husband and I two beautiful little lives that we are responsible for. He has given us a HUGE task. And to be able to fulfill that task I need not to be anxious but know that God will give me supernatural peace. I decided to look this verse up in a version that I love to read sometimes just because it kind of lays things out in a different way and sometimes speaks to me in a different light. The message version says "Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life." The way that this verse is worded literally brings me to tears. "instead of worrying pray, let petitions and praises shape you worries into prayer" and to know that God's wholeness will bring everything together for good. I hope and pray that someone out there who is reading this post will be encouraged. That it will somehow bring you back from the ledge that you are standing on. I myself feel like I was standing on a ledge and have been brought back even if it was just a few steps just through reading that verse. Whatever you might be facing remember "it's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces the worry at the center of your life" All you need to do is have a little faith that God is in the midst and knows what He's doing. I am by no means perfect and I so struggle with this. But maybe by telling all of you these things, I will be able to do them better myself. Thank you again for all of your prayers...they are more important to us than I think you will ever know. I must apologize, getting a moment where I can sit down and blog is becoming harder and harder. The girls are getting bigger and requiring much more attention during the day, and then when I am back at the house at night I am exhausted and usually have laundry to do and things to clean and bills to pay. So life is just busy.
The past few weeks have been a complete and total whirlwind. The girls are doing well all things considered. We have had a few hiccups along the road but when I say these girls are amazing little miracles I so mean it. What they have already endured is more than I think I could ever handle. I am so proud to be their mommy. They surprise me every single day and I am so blessed because of it! Riley unfortunately had to go back home this past weekend, he has been here since the girls had their surgery. It was sooooo nice to have him around but....duty call unfortunately. It was so hard for him to go now that the girls are interacting more and more with every day. I know he misses them terribly and we of course miss him as well. The girls started smiling just this past week and it overwhelms me with joy. To see their eyes sparkle and their mouth turn into a huge grin just melts my heart completely. When I look at them I feel like I am looking at my heart in human form. They are just so perfect and Riley and I could never ask for more. They are so sweet tempered as well. Don't get me wrong, they have their "diva" moments. But overall they are pretty mellow babies. Compared to some of the other babies that have been our neighbors over the past few months, they are mellow. I am so excited for the day when they are separate and are able to sit up, hang out in the mama-roo, go for a stroller ride, and so much more. Right now they are basically confined to the bed because of the way the separation process has been going and because of the way that they are conjoined they aren't able to be in many other positions other than laying. We still have another month or two before anything new really happens. This is a long grueling process, so please keep us in your prayers. I am getting to the point where I am really starting to miss home. It comes in waves, but being here at the Ronald McDonald house there is a natural progression of things I am finding. Every 6 weeks or so everything changes at the house. A bunch of people will get discharged and a new group of people will come in. It's hard to keep building relationships that all of a sudden leave. You in one sense are so incredibly happy for them, but in the other sense are sad because you are back to being by yourself. So please pray for all the transitions. This whole experience has really grown and changed me. I have become more outgoing, more confident, and stronger overall. As tough as it is going into the Holiday season and being away from family and friends, I know that we are incredibly blessed to be where we are and to have so many people in our corner. We are so grateful for each and every person who is following our story. Please know that all the cards and gifts we have received have brightened some pretty dark days. I know I have been quiet lately but that doesn't mean things aren't still moving forward. We are completely in the trenches of this journey so please pray for us. Your prayers have really made all the difference with how things have gone. We are so grateful for them. Our girls still have a ways to go, but we know with all of you standing with us in prayer that our girls will come out on top!!! In the past few days I have been singing a specific song to the girls and maybe it will encourage someone else who is is a tough spot right now as well..... He who began a good work in you He who began a good work in you Will be faithful to complete it He'll be faithful to complete it He who started the work Will be faithful to complete it in you If the struggle you're facing Is slowly replacing Your hope with despair Or the process is long And you're losing your song In the night You can be sure That the Lord has His hand on you Safe and secure He will never abandon you You are His treasure And He finds His pleasure in you Also I have started registries for the girls since I have been asked several times how people can help, this is just the easiest thing to do. Please by no means feel pressured at all. It is just so I don't have to get asked all the time. We are registered at Buy Buy Baby and Target. |
AuthorMy name is Heather Delaney. I married the love of my life Riley on 10/02/15 and we now have two beautiful girls Abby & Erin, who are conjoined twins, that were born 07/24/16. We are trusting that God is going to work all this out for his good! Archives
March 2021
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