Our Journey with Conjoined Twins
Abby & Erin
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
Romans 8:28
In life there are so many seasons. There are seasons of plenty, happiness, growth, prosperity, and then there are other seasons of need, worry, stress, and sadness. It's amazing how quickly the seasons in your life can change. And the length of them are always different. There are times that seen like they last forever, and other times they feel like they are changed overnight. First off let me say that the girls have been doing so good. They are growing, gaining weight, and working so hard on all their skills. They love pre-school and therapy. We just started aquatic therapy back up for the next 8 weeks which they LOVE. Abby is crawling all over the place and starting to finally give Erin a run for her money. And Erin has learned how to crawl up stairs and is just one let go away from taking her first step. They really are amazing little girls! I've been very transparent on this blog about my struggles, hopes, sorrows, and joys when it comes to the journey with the girls. There are many seasons. Some people don't think I should be so transparent but I have been told several times lately, that if you aren't honest no one can help. Things have been very tough lately. When Riley and I found out we were expecting conjoined twins it turned our world upside down. We knew in that moment that things were never going to be the way we envisioned them. We never thought that we would have to spend a year and a half apart. Dealing with some of the most difficult moments of our lives while being over 700 miles apart. The stress, anxiety, depression, and much more has followed us through this. (I have talked to Riley before blogging this) We both have struggled in different ways with all of this. Riley a little more than me. I have different outlets (this being one), I have the girls therapists and doctors always looking out for me making sure that I am doing alright. Riley doesn't have that. He has struggled in silence for a long time. He has finally decided enough is enough and it is time to work on things. But working on things comes with a cost. To get to the point where you are ready to work on things, means that things weren't good. Things were bad, and got to the point where Riley couldn't work because of his mental health issues and his workplace wasn't a good place for him to be with these issues. So right now Riley has been out of work for a few weeks, and before that he was barely working, which means our finances are beyond tight. Luckily we have a wonderful family who have been bending over backwards trying to help us the best they can. Because of this financial strain we are also in a bit of a bind when it comes to vehicles. My van is wayyyy overdue on inspection because of the check engine light. And between my dad, and two mechanics, and $1500 we are hoping that it is fixed and I should be able to to have it back tomorrow. But it hasn't been working since before Christmas so we have been borrowing my moms minivan. Rileys car had died back in the early fall. We had planned on getting him a new car, but as finances were tanking and things were getting worse, we never got the chance. So I was dropping Riley off and picking him up from work (which is a half hour away). So things have been tough but that doesn't mean good can come out of it... Because of all the struggle and hard times, Riley is getting the help he needs. He is doing better, and he is dealing with a lot of the things that have been holding him back. So many times I have heard that statistics about parents with special needs children getting divorced. We are very proud to say that is not in the cards for us. It's a lot of work, but we are making it work. We help each other and encourage each other through these incredibly hard times. We also are pretty sure that Riley has a new job opportunity that will be really good for him. Doing something he enjoys doing and that he will make a decent income with. We are still waiting on some logistics to make sure he can get the job, but it is almost a definite. I feel like a lot of times dads get left in the shadows when things happen with the kids. It's not of their doing it is just that a lot of focus goes to mom and the kids because the mom is the one with the kids 24/7 but that doesn't mean the dad isn't struggling. Not being able to be with your child for therapy, doctors, and trips to doctors (aka traveling to Philly for important appointments) can really take a toll. And being the dad is soooo important. I have learned a lot in the past few months about how Riley has seen things and how the struggles of special needs parenting has affected him. It's scary what can happen if you aren't paying attention. But Riley (and myself) is getting professional help now and it's definitely helping. It's been a lot to deal with and some days are better than others, but we know God is working. Another good thing that has come out of this is me starting my little side hustle. I have started making custom tumblers. It is something I really enjoy and has helped financially even if it is just a little right now. I will post a link within the pictures at the end of the post to check out some of my work. And if you are interested please feel free to send me a message. I'd love to make you a tumbler! They are fully customizable, and I can do a lot of different things with it. If you can think it, I will find a way to make it! We named it ENTWINED DELANEY DESIGNS in honor of the girls. All in all things could be worse, there is always someone who has it worse than you. But things could definitely be better. I know we are always asking for prayers, but this time we really need some specific ones. So I am going to end this blog with some specific prayer requests in lieu of being transparent.... - We need our finances to get figured out. We are not sure how God's going to do it but we know he will. It's such a scary place to be in. -We need Riley to have a good job. We are praying and claiming that this job opportunity that has presented itself will pan out and that it will happen sooner rather than later. -We need transportation. With my car being illegal at the moment and not having the money to get it fully on the road we are in a tough spot. With this new job for Riley we need a way to get him there. And even when my car is fixed and on the road, we don't have the ability to have him take the car to work because the girls have so much therapy and appointments that we literally have something going on every day for them and we don't want to have to change that because of not having a vehicle. -We need things to work out for the girls to get a medical stroller. Unfortunately with the stress lately I haven't been on my A game, and I backed over the girls' wagon and bent the one wheel pretty badly. Riley was able to bend it back enough that it is still usable, but not 100%. And not only that but the girls are getting taller and now can kick each other even when they are buckled in. It's hard because they fit, but they don't understand. Same with the strollers, they fit, but they don't understand to not try and reach the wheels, or to keep their feet up. So we are working hard to figure out a solution. -We need health in our house. Last night Erin came down with a nasty fever that has been with her ever since. She is ok when the Motrin is well in her system, but as soon as it wears, she is miserable again. -For Riley that he will able to keep getting better. That he will see how important and and loved he is.
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AuthorMy name is Heather Delaney. I married the love of my life Riley on 10/02/15 and we now have two beautiful girls Abby & Erin, who are conjoined twins, that were born 07/24/16. We are trusting that God is going to work all this out for his good! Archives
March 2021
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