Our Journey with Conjoined Twins
Abby & Erin
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Everyone looks at things in different ways. Someone sees the glass half full, the other sees it half empty. Something you look at may seem beautiful to you, but be ugly to me. Perspective is a funny thing. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Being in this type of situtaiton seems to like to change your perspective on things. My husband tells me all the time that his view on life is completley different since we found out about our girls. These things can make your perspective do a complete 180. One day life is great, and then the next day life is miserable. But he has always said that they have changed his perspective to be a better one. To always see the glass half full. To see the good, and the reasoning behind things. I admire him for that.
Recently we were told some news about the girls that was not the most wonderful news we could receive. Because of the way things have been moving we are most likely going to switch directions. Not saying whats been going on hasn't done what it's supposed to, but it hasn't done everything we were hoping. Because of that we will most likely be here longer than we were anticipating. And I am not going to lie, that pretty much cut right through me. I am not one to cry in the NICU. I always try to be as strong as I can when it comes to this because I know if I crumble, I might not be able to pick myself back up. But this news made me cry. To hear that what I thought was going to be happening in a month or two, now isn't going to happen for more like 4 months just frustrated me. Thats more months of watching my girls fight, more months of being away from my husband, and more months of the "unknown". I was frustrated, upset, defeated, and sad. I felt like nothing would be able to make me see that any differently.
Then the next day I saw another mom who has been here at the ronald mcdonald house for the past three months. Her son was in the hospital. When I saw her I asked how she and her son was doing. Little did I know, but he had passed away the morning before. I could see and feel her pain. But what she told me will ring in my ears forever and completley changed my perspective. She said "hug those babies, because you have them now, enjoy every second you have with them".
In that second my perspective went from "why me, why us?" to thank you God for bringing us this far, even if it is going to take longer. I realized how grateful I am for my little girls. Yes, being here is hard, yes seeing so many people have beautiful perfect babies hurts, yes hearing people complain about stupid little things annoys me to death, but I am so so so grateful for our girls, and the outlook they have given my husband and I. They have showed us so much and continue to do so every single day. I decided in that moment, when that mom told me through tears to enjoy my babies, that I will. As much as it may hurt, as much as I may be frustrated, as much as I may ask why, I will enjoy them. I will thank God every day that I have them because they are such gifts, and such miracles.
Please say a prayer for that family, I cannot imagine the feeling of loosing a child that you have watched fight so hard. She is the kind of mom I want to be. One that stands by her child, and even after she lost him, was able to speak into my life through her pain. If you ever read this please know how grateful I am for your words yesterday!!
Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
My name is Heather Delaney. I married the love of my life Riley on 10/02/15 and we now have two beautiful girls Abby & Erin, who are conjoined twins, that were born 07/24/16. We are trusting that God is going to work all this out for his good!