Our Journey with Conjoined Twins
Abby & Erin
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
I've thought a lot about what I wanted to post about for the girls' second birthday. About how proud of them we are and how amazing they're doing. But I think I want to talk about how grateful we are....
I read a post on facebook about being a medical mom and the struggles you face. And it hit home so hard. There are days where for just a few minutes you feel almost "normal". Feeling like you can take your kids out to story time and grocery shopping like any other mom could. And sometimes that feeling sticks around for a few days, until one of your kids needs to be vented during your grocery shopping because they are coughing and wrenching from the feed they are for some reason not tolerating. For those 2 minutes of crazy (they aren't quiet when they're wretchy) you feel like everyone is staring at you. Wondering what is wrong with your child, why is there a tube coming out from their clothing, why you have a giant syringe in your hand, should someone call 911 because that child is turning all sorts of colors. Thats when you remember you aren't normal. You're not just a mom, you're a medical mom. One who is terrified when a fever pops up because the last fever she had landed her in the PICU with sepsis and they couldn't figure out what was wrong for days. Even when that fever could just be something normal like teething or a small virus. It's a life where every day you walk the line between mother and nurse, caretaker and snuggler. It's a line that you so badly want to stay on just one side of it but are pushed to the other more often than not.
But for the girls second birthday (can you believe it is a week from today!!) I am choosing to be grateful. I am so grateful that I am able to be pushed over that line, that I get to worry about every little thing, that I get to worry about all the silly things other people think. I am so grateful for all the things I hate about being a medical mom. I am grateful because if I wasn't a medical mom I wouldn't be a mom at all. Our girls had barely any chance. The chances of conceiving them are 1 in 2.5 million, their chances of being born alive and well were even less. Then add in the chances of being separated and their chance of any type of survival (let alone thriving) was somewhere around the 5% range of that 1 in 2.5million. Crazy right! Our girls are complete and total miracles.
I rewatched the video that CHOP put together of the girls. Sometimes I watch that video and can't believe all that we as a family have been through. Then other times I watch it and I can feel every single emotion I felt when we were filming. I can remember the conversations had, the electric anticipation waiting for news on separation day, the twisting of my gut when I heard what Abby had been through. I can feel it like I am right back there. When I watched that video tonight all I could think and feel was the immense gratitude we feel for all those that we part of Abby and Erin's care. From Dr. Heuer and Dr. Taylor, all the way to the amazing people who cleaned our room everyday. We made friends everywhere in that hospital. Even the smiling face asking how the girls were every day when I went down to the cafeteria to get my lunch. Each and every person loved our girls like they were part of their family. When something went wrong with the girls you could see the fear in their eyes just as much as you could have seen it in mine because they sincerely loved them. And now being home everyone who works with these girls still loves them! From those who were with me during my pregnancy, their incredible therapists, all the way to the women in the WIC office. It's incredible the amount of love that is poured out on these girls. I sincerely believe that the girls do as well as they do because of how much love surrounds them.
We are so grateful to have had these past two years with these little ladies. There have been ups and downs, back and forths, sideways and every other way you can think of. This past year had some incredibly difficult moments but all 4 of us have moved forward, grown, learned, loved, and thrived through it. I am thrilled to see what this next year holds for us, and at the same time terrified. I know there are surgeries that need to happen and important doctor appointments that need to be had, and that makes me feel like screaming inside, but we are blessed beyond measure, and our God is a God of miracles. I know He has great plans for these incredible girls.
So we will do as we have done for the past 2 years, we WILL move forward, we WILL grow, we WILL learn, we WILL love, and we WILL thrive.
Ya'll this video has over 4 million views! WHAT! That's insane! We pray it gives others hope.
My name is Heather Delaney. I married the love of my life Riley on 10/02/15 and we now have two beautiful girls Abby & Erin, who are conjoined twins, that were born 07/24/16. We are trusting that God is going to work all this out for his good!