Our Journey with Conjoined Twins
Abby & Erin
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
Romans 8:28
So I had a weird moment today. I was scrolling through Facebook and started seeing all of the first day of school pictures. I love seeing pictures like this, either the first day of school, christmas, easter, etc. Where it seems like everyone is taking the same picture with different people in it.
The thing that was weird was that I realized that there is still life going on outside of what I am doing. Being here in Philadelphia feels almost like time is frozen. I have my routine, I wake up, pump, get ready, eat breakfast, go to the hospital, pump, eat lunch, hold the girls, pump again, go back to the house for dinner, pump again, watch some tv, pump again, and go to bed. This is my day literally every day. It's hard to realize that life is still going on. That my friends are still living their lives, and having fun and I am stuck in this loop that just keeps repeating itself. Now I know it sounds kind of bad, especially since people say "you need to get out", "you need to do other things than just sit at the hospital". But if you've every had a child or, in my case, children in the hospital you feel incredibly guilty doing anything other than being with them. Yes I go to the store and shop sometimes, and yes when my husband visits we do things, or when I have visitors we go out to eat. But doing anything other than being with them feel just wrong. They are my children, I should be the one taking care of them, the one changing all their diapers, the on who calms them when they are upset, the one who feeds them, the one who wakes up with them at 3am. It's just so hard to hand all that over to people that you don't even know. And you have to put your full trust in them to basically not only be their nurse, but to also "play" the "mothering" role for you while you are gone. It is just such a weird feeling knowing that you are a new mom, but not fully feeling like you are. One thing that super bugs me is when talking to people about having my babies in the NICU, they say, "oh....well at least you can catch up on your sleep". That one makes me almost want to jump out of my skin (no offense if you have said it to me before, I know it is meant in a nice way). But what I haven't really written about on here is all about exclusively pumping. The reason that statement drives me crazy is because I wake up every three hours during the night to pump for a half hour, and when you add in the time it takes me to set everything up, and then put everything away, and label the bottles, you're looking at a good 45 minutes every 3 hours. Which in my opinion is harder that waking up with your baby. At least when you wake up with your baby, you get those warm baby snuggles, and get to look at that super cute little face, and even though you are exhausted, you know its worth it because of those sweet eyes that look at you so lovingly. When you wake up to pump it isn't like that at all. You attach to a machine and try to stay awake are you are milked dry like a cow. Waking up to an alarm takes a lot more self control than waking up to a screaming baby. When you have the baby you have no choice, but when it's your alarm it is so easy to just turn it off. So to those who say you get to catch up on your sleep, it makes me chuckle because I am just as tired and a new mom who has their baby at home, if not maybe more because I don't nap with my babies since I am at the hospital. Anyways enough of my "rants". The girls are doing well! They are, believe it or not, 3lbs 15.5oz each already! I can't believe it! They are growing so fast. It is really amazing. Their events (heart rate dropping, and O2 levels dropping) have gone way down, to the point where Erin hasn't had one in about 3 days, and Abby only had around 1 today. They are starting to get a little baby chunk going on, where their cheeks, legs, and arms are starting to plump up and gosh do they look so sweet. Riley and I talk very frequently about just how darn cute they are! We also had a meeting this past friday about the way the girls are going to be separated and at one point there were 18 people at the girls bedside. That was a great meeting, we learned a lot, but it was also a little overwhelming for me at least. It was a lot of really really smart people staring at us. At least that is what it felt like. They wanted to look at the girls and be able to visualize how everything was going to go, but they keep asking what Riley and I think, and if we have any questions. And at points you are just overwhelmed with so much information your brain is just trying to process, let alone think of questions. But overall it was a really good, informative, and encouraging meeting. Their surgery that will start the separation process will most likely be sooner rather than later! I just wanted to throw a quick shout out to those who have purchased T-Shirts to support the girls! We really appreciate it, and all the donations that are being made on top of buying shirts. I know that Riley and I cannot wait to get ours so that we can wear them all the time! But please if you are still interested in getting one, purchase it soon. They are only going to be available for another 8 days. So please don't forget to order yours asap! A little background on the shirt and the meaning of the design. Obviously the word entwined plays into the girls conjoined factor. The infinity symbol also stands for conjoined twins even though most people don't realize that conjoined twins is one of its meanings. Also purple is the color of preemie awareness. So the shirt ties in the fact that the girls are twins, conjoined, and were born premature. This way you can explain to others if they ever ask when you are wearing yours. All you have to do is go to the post before this one, and you can click on the photo of the shirt and it will bring you right to the website! Again thank you to all of those who are supporting and following our family. We are completely humbled by the outpouring of love we have received!! You have all been such an answer to prayer! Every time we think we aren't going to be able to keep going, God provides, and it a lot because of all your prayers! Our God is good, and He knows what we need, and when we need it! And he has been using all of you to meet our needs, more than you all realize.
6 Comments
Lana Lemons
9/6/2016 06:30:53 pm
What beautiful littles you have been blessed with, and I do mean blessed. So blessed that they were born healthy and in a day where this can be repaired so they both can run and play before you know! I know you were chosen to be the parents of these beautiful girls..for so many would not feel "blessed"....hugs to you all..
Reply
mindy uttley
9/6/2016 06:43:54 pm
I am a nicu mom who didn't have two little ones but had one little man who I also pumped for. I am forever grateful for the nice and all their support. Thank you for your honesty and your humbleness. Your daughters are beautiful. May God continue to bless your family
Reply
Chrissy
9/6/2016 06:47:06 pm
I am so proud of you and your strength. My twin boys were born at 33 weeks and we stayed 2 hours from home while they were in NICU. I also set an alarm to pump and continue to pump at just over 10 months!! My advice is to record them and play it while pumping. It sounds silly but it really makes you feel like they are there. Not sure if you can set an alarm sound of their cries but that might help too!! I am a nurse and I will never forget the helpless feeling I had while my boys were in the hospital. That was hard. You are amazing and God chose you two to be their parents for a reason. We don't always hear this enough, but you are doing a wonderful job Mommy.
Reply
Jessica
9/6/2016 07:34:06 pm
You don't know me but your sister worked for me and my husband at camp Sebago. I have been following your journey and praying for your beautiful family. Your post tonight hit home! I know exactly how you feel when you say, " your life is frozen". It wasn't my children but my husband was in the hospital for 6 months with a life threatening illness and I remember feeling as though everyone was living their life and time was going, days, weeks, months holidays past... For them... For me, everyday felt the same and time felt still. Most of the time was husband was unconscious or unaware, I felt so alone. Many well intentioned people offered their advice which to me felt laughable- they had no idea what I was going through! It's been 16 years since that time and thankfully my husband recovered, but I still wonder why God had as endure that time had us endure it. I may never know but I know this, during those long days and endless nights God carried me! His promise is true, He will not give you more than you can handle. I held onto 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 and I pray that for you- that Christ's grace will be sufficient and His power will be strong in your time of weakness. Blessings, jessica
Reply
Kimberly Borntrager
9/6/2016 08:28:29 pm
I understand how you are feeling about wanting do do all the cares for your sweet babies. My son was in the NICU at Mayo in Rochester Minnesota and at time I felt so hepless. Just remember you are a great mom and are doing an amazing job. It don't make things any better when the hubby has to go home to work. Just remember this to is just temporary. Keep your head up and remember the power of prayer. You all have LOTS of people praying for you sweet little girls.
Reply
Isabella Lucas
11/10/2022 05:16:45 am
My ex-husband and I had always managed to stay friendly after our divorce in February 2017. But I always wanted to get back together with him, All it took was a visit to this spell casters website last December, because my dream was to start a new year with my husband, and live happily with him.. This spell caster requested a specific love spell for me and my husband, and I accepted it. And this powerful spell caster began to work his magic. And 48 hours after this spell caster worked for me, my husband called me back for us to be together again, and he was remorseful for all his wrong deeds. My spell is working because guess what: My “husband” is back and we are making preparations on how to go to court and withdraw our divorce papers ASAP. This is nothing short of a miracle. Thank you Dr Emu for your powerful spells. Words are not enough.
Reply
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorMy name is Heather Delaney. I married the love of my life Riley on 10/02/15 and we now have two beautiful girls Abby & Erin, who are conjoined twins, that were born 07/24/16. We are trusting that God is going to work all this out for his good! Archives
March 2021
Categories |