Our Journey with Conjoined Twins
Abby & Erin
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.
Patience......patience is my downfall at the moment.
The girls turned 6 months old on Tuesday! These little girls inspire Riley and I every single day. They are the ones that give us hope. Every time they smile and you can see the wonder that they are filled with you just know that they have that fight in them. These past six months have been the absolute hardest that I have ever imagined, but they have also been some of the very best. I have learned so much not only about being a mom, but about myself and who I am as a woman and a wife. I've learned to speak up and be an advocate for the girls. I have learned to be "ok" with living in this exact moment and not thinking about tomorrow. I've learned to completely trust God with the lives of our children (and am still learning). I've learned that just when I think we aren't going to make it, God does something and makes everything better. I've grown in ways I can't even comprehend. But I know in these past 6 months I have changed, and I am so grateful that God chose me to be these little girls' mommy.
We had a meeting last week about the new plans for the girls. We has been doing some new processes to make the actual separation of the girls easier. And in the past few weeks we have kind of hit a brick wall and knew it was time to change. So after a battle with RSV, we are now scheduled for an MRI sometime next week, and then hopefully another small surgery in February. This surgery will be to put internal skin expanders in. This is something I have been dreading. I know that it is the last leg before separation, but I also know it is another mountain to climb. I'm worried about the pain, worried about how fragile the skin on their scalps are, I worried about infection, and I'm worried about loosing any progress that we have made.
The MRI that we have coming up is big one. We are nervous to find out if the things we have been doing have worked. If they have it makes the girls actual separation SOOO much safer. We are praying with everything that we have that things have worked and that we will have a less chance of loosing one of the girls. It is a terrifying thought that one may have a harder time once they are separated and we are praying and praying and know that God already knows what is going to happen.
If everything goes swimmingly we are looking at the girls having their separation sometime around May. We have been told many dates but I think this one is going to stick. Please pray for our family. Every day that we are separated from each other is really hard, and seems to be getting harder. As of right now we don't even know when Riley is going to be able to visit next and he hasn't been here in a month. He is in the process of figuring out some new work ideas and is just not sure when he will be able to make it here. It is also really hard for him to take any time off because we need every penny. It's been stressful and very hard since we can't be together to work out all these things. So please pray for that as well, pray that Riley will find the right position for him, one that will allow him to be able to visit more but also still make enough money to pay the bills.
I also want to thank everyone. So many people have gone above and beyond. Between cards of encouragement, gofundme donations, gift cards, care packages, church groups getting things together, and so many words of encouragements through comments and emails we are so so so grateful. It brings me to tears how many people are rooting for our girls and our family through this time. I would have never imagined in a million years that I would be living at a Ronald McDonald House, 500 miles away from my husband so that I could care for my conjoined twins for a year. I seriously could never have imagined it. And all of those who have read my blog and done these wonderful things have made this experience something that I will look back on fondly, being able to remember how wonderful everyone was. I can't wait till one day years from now when we are able to help another family going through times like these. We are truly blessed and so grateful!
So here is to another 6 months or so! Go baby girls Go!
Everyone looks at things in different ways. Someone sees the glass half full, the other sees it half empty. Something you look at may seem beautiful to you, but be ugly to me. Perspective is a funny thing. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Being in this type of situtaiton seems to like to change your perspective on things. My husband tells me all the time that his view on life is completley different since we found out about our girls. These things can make your perspective do a complete 180. One day life is great, and then the next day life is miserable. But he has always said that they have changed his perspective to be a better one. To always see the glass half full. To see the good, and the reasoning behind things. I admire him for that.
Recently we were told some news about the girls that was not the most wonderful news we could receive. Because of the way things have been moving we are most likely going to switch directions. Not saying whats been going on hasn't done what it's supposed to, but it hasn't done everything we were hoping. Because of that we will most likely be here longer than we were anticipating. And I am not going to lie, that pretty much cut right through me. I am not one to cry in the NICU. I always try to be as strong as I can when it comes to this because I know if I crumble, I might not be able to pick myself back up. But this news made me cry. To hear that what I thought was going to be happening in a month or two, now isn't going to happen for more like 4 months just frustrated me. Thats more months of watching my girls fight, more months of being away from my husband, and more months of the "unknown". I was frustrated, upset, defeated, and sad. I felt like nothing would be able to make me see that any differently.
Then the next day I saw another mom who has been here at the ronald mcdonald house for the past three months. Her son was in the hospital. When I saw her I asked how she and her son was doing. Little did I know, but he had passed away the morning before. I could see and feel her pain. But what she told me will ring in my ears forever and completley changed my perspective. She said "hug those babies, because you have them now, enjoy every second you have with them".
In that second my perspective went from "why me, why us?" to thank you God for bringing us this far, even if it is going to take longer. I realized how grateful I am for my little girls. Yes, being here is hard, yes seeing so many people have beautiful perfect babies hurts, yes hearing people complain about stupid little things annoys me to death, but I am so so so grateful for our girls, and the outlook they have given my husband and I. They have showed us so much and continue to do so every single day. I decided in that moment, when that mom told me through tears to enjoy my babies, that I will. As much as it may hurt, as much as I may be frustrated, as much as I may ask why, I will enjoy them. I will thank God every day that I have them because they are such gifts, and such miracles.
Please say a prayer for that family, I cannot imagine the feeling of loosing a child that you have watched fight so hard. She is the kind of mom I want to be. One that stands by her child, and even after she lost him, was able to speak into my life through her pain. If you ever read this please know how grateful I am for your words yesterday!!
Dear brothers and sisters,[a] when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. 3 For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. 4 So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.
I saw a quote on Facebook recently that talked about David, and how the giant was put in davids way to get him to the throne. It then went on to say that the giants in our lives are there not to defeat us, but to promote us. And it was such an encouragement because lately I feel like we have been up against a giant that is trying over and over to destroy us, and we are becoming weary.
My name is Heather Delaney. I married the love of my life Riley on 10/02/15 and we now have two beautiful girls Abby & Erin, who are conjoined twins, that were born 07/24/16. We are trusting that God is going to work all this out for his good!